♥

SHORT HIATUS

My local town centre got snazzier all of a sudden. I found Starbucks. We finally have Starbucks. *screaming*

The other half of me who likes to scratch my bedroom door at 2.30am because he wants attention.

My wall painting is complete. We discovered how old these houses truly are with the crappy plastering.

And then I welcomed Skyrim back into my life. My love for this game is truly endless.

Because of the very near events that are about to happen in my life, I think it would be wise for me to take a small break from my blog. A little hiatus. I may not even taken my laptop with me when I go on holiday, despite Premier Inn broadcasting that they've recently upgraded to free WiFi in all of their hotels. I'm one of those people who likes to be as electronic free as possible when I'm planning to savor moments in my life. The only thing I like to have with me is my mobile phone and maybe a camera, depending on the situation. This is where I sit back in my chair and consider the fact that I'm actually getting old with my preferences compared to today's generation. So, until the beginning of March, I will be off the map completely to cherish my time with my loved ones. Tomorrow marks a huge milestone for me. See you all in March. Adios!

Sights

The more I try to puzzle my schedule together, the more it falls apart on me. I've noted down my main appointments, such as my check up tomorrow and my interview on Friday that I'm not remotely prepared for. I've dedicated tomorrow to help me prepare for it. Last minute. I'm apparently brilliant at that. Everything else I need to plan is left floating around waiting for me to gather time to do them. It's a coincidence that I'm becoming stressed out to the point where I feel like I need a holiday, yet I have one starting next week. Does it always feel like this before a scheduled holiday?

FAVOURITE PHOTO YOU'VE EVER TAKEN

As you may or may not have already guessed, I have a genuine infatuation with sky photography. I love the sky. I adore it. My brother makes timelapse videos of the sky, filming the clouds roll past as the sky blends through different colours of the day. When he shares yet another one he made with me, it's like Christmas morning for me, it really is. Storms are my atmosphere of serenity. I'm a pure air child.

It is very rare for the UK to have so much snow that when you step into it, the surface of it reaches half way up your calf and your foot disappears. This picture was taken while walking back from my friends house which usually takes about 15 minutes, though the snow made a bit difficult to walk uphill and easily doubled the usually time trying to get home.

SOMEONE YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING WITH IN THE FUTURE

He was the last person I expected to enter my life. Not even a possibility. He's -the- person that I always imagined myself being with, but I never found him. Until I found him. He entered my life and turned it upside down, for the better. His existence changed everything. It changed the way I thought about things, the way I felt about things and it made me discover just how unhappy I was with my life at the time he arrived. When I saw him, I saw the life that I wanted. I saw the person I wanted to share my life with. The best part of it all? He confessed his feelings for me first. You can only imagine how smitten I was when he did, as I had been hiding the same feelings. It was a sign to me that we were meant to happen. It would be foolish to lay down the law and say that I will definitely still be with him as I become old and wrinkly, but it's not foolish to aim for that with all of my heart. I've been in love twice before, but I feel like this is my very first 'true love'. Having no doubts and  the feeling of pure settlement is a first for me. I don't know what our future holds, but right now, my life is blissful with him. His presence alone makes me sense what true happiness feels like.

The Netflix Tag

1. What are you favourite series' to watch on Netflix? 
Breaking Bad! Oh jeez, I can't recommend it enough. Last summer, I watched that show religiously from beginning to end. It sent me through whirlwinds of emotions, which 99% of the shows I tend to watch don't have the ability to do to me. The characters are absolutely fantastic. I really didn't want this show to end. I'm so looking forward to Better Call Saul! A close second favourite is Orange is the New Black, in which I am impatiently waiting for the new series to release.

2. What are you currently watching on Netflix? 
Dexter, Scrubs, Death Note and Buffy. Dexter is a new series to me but I've gotten pretty stuck in it and thoroughly enjoying it. I, being in the healthcare sector, can very faintly relate to certain scenes in Scrubs, let alone the show making me cackle with laughter multiple times per episode, particularly because of Ted. I love Ted so much. Death Note is also brand new to me, so I have no particular thoughts about that as of yet. Now, Buffy, I have mixed feelings with. It's incredibly cheesy and predictable at times, in my opinion. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be watching this show for.

3. If you could have any series, old or new put on Netflix, what would it be? 
I'd love for Friends to be on Netflix. Whenever I was watching TV in my teenage years, you can bet it was Friends on TV. Admittedly, I can recite almost every single episode, which makes the show a comforting background noise to me. I'd also like True Blood on there as well, which I have yet to finish watching. I also wish that the UK version had Supernatural, just like the US version apparently does.

4. What is your one peeve about Netflix? 
...I can't say that I have a complaint, really.

5. What are your essentials for a perfect night in with Netflix? 
A nice steaming hot cup of tea/coffee, a comfortable bed/sofa, my fan turned on and snacks if available. I like crunchy snacks with dips.

6. Recommend one series or film for someone else.
Breaking Bad. Give it a chance because I didn't get into it right away either.

7. What has been the most overrated series you have watched on Netflix? 
I'm slowly considering Buffy to be pretty overrated, in my opinion.

8. What is your guilty pleasure on Netflix? 
Hah, Sword Art Online. I have plenty of other guilty pleasures lined up too.

Messy

House decorating consumes my time and obliviously, my soul. Can anyone throw any decent reasons as to why I decided to start steaming wallpaper in the first place? To paint the walls and make them look polished and less torn (it was tearing in some corners), yes, that was my reason too. But for a split second of insanity, I thought it wouldn't take long at all. It's been four days now and I've only just completed melting all the paper off the walls.

Dulux paint in Dusted Damson, help me gain my soul back.

NICKNAMES YOU HAVE & WHY YOU HAVE THEM

Nix; I'm not sure how or why this nickname came about, but it's certainly stuck like glue for years now. I'm known as Nix to mainly my circle of friends, whereas my other half and my family call me by my real name.

firefly; Just going to throw in this super cheesy nickname my other half gave me. I'm his little firefly. *collective awwww*

Yep. That's pretty much it. No fancy selection of nicknames for me, it's remained pretty basic.

IMPERFECT

Perfectionism is both a blessing and a curse. The time that I spent in art college taught me that when it comes to canvas and paper work, it's more of a curse than anything else, which I was never expecting. Nor did I understand what my tutors meant to begin with. It takes a thousand lines just to find the right one. I was labelled an 'analytical artist'. Detail meant everything. It meant so much that I wasted too much time on it. It meant that my coursework was rarely finished on time, because the thought of being messy with my art drove my perfectionism to madness. It took me the longest time to understand that messy isn't wrong. The moment that I stopped correcting all the errors I'd create, I realised that messy can look pretty damn awesome. I noticed that I could express what I felt easier when I was messier. I learned the most important message of all: perfectionism and imperfection are close, friendly neighbours.

Snowclouds

Hello, February.

It welcomed us with snow that was promised to us weeks ago. Fashionably late, as per usual for the United Kingdom. It didn't even manage to remain stuck to the ground overnight, by morning you could see the dull grey concrete again, only soaking due to melted snow. It's not cold enough and to be honest, I don't really want it to get to that point anymore. Like the majority of this timezone we live in, I'm done with winter. It takes a lot for me to say that considering I'm an autumn/winter baby.

But I'm itching to wear my new sunglasses, to start running without freezing my lungs, to wear my new kimono cardigan that I bought for the upcoming warmer months. I'm pining for summer storms and flip flops. If anyone knows me well enough, they'll know that unless my feet are too cold to, I live in flip flops and sandals. I've hiked in flip flops. Not recommended.

My goal for this month:
- Complete my villains gallery wall, which will consist of Disney villains and Gotham criminals.
- Create an About Me page. Should have been the very first thing I did. Apologies!
- Get more involved in my sketchbooks.
- Create an art journal.
- Make a travel bulletin board for my collection of oddities that I've gathered from all over the UK, stick what I already have on there and build it up for inspiration and nostalgia.

The world is your oyster

There is something else you may not know about me. I'm going to share this part of my life with you. I'm in an unexpected long distance relationship. I am aware that the stigma those words hold is quite heavy and I can hardly blame anyone. I say unexpected, because I never saw myself being in one. I didn't believe in them when I met him. I laughed at the whole idea of it. I've known this dude for quite some time. Long enough for him to witness a good amount of phases in my life before we grew closer. It's a very, very, very long and complicated story.

But here we are, nine months later. I couldn't even begin to tell you how it happened, especially considering the fact that I had no definite faith, nor did I consider having faith in this sort of thing so it wasn't like I was out looking for one to happen. I always thought, if you haven't spent real life time together, nothing is set in stone. Nothing could ever possibly emerge if you have no real life foundation to build upon. A lot still firmly believe that. I can tell you right now that I no longer do. I no longer believe that physical contact is required to build an emotional foundation between two souls. The thought of letting the only thing that's absent - physical contact - destroy something that makes me ridiculously blissful, absolutely pains me. So here we are, nine months later, with our first ever holiday together, just the two of us, looming closer though not fast enough. Flight and hotel are booked. I'm so ready to go.

Obviously restocking for the upcoming holiday. Matrix Sleek shampoo and conditioner leave my hair feeling softer than silk. That's impressive considering my naturally wild, thick curly hair. Nair for, well, obvious reasons. I also have bought trusty heavy duty padlocks to make my luggage that much more annoying - though not impossible - to get into, should we ever encounter a theft.. Yup! Bring it on!

Zen

First of all, where have you lovely people come from?! Why hello there! Let's talk! ♥

Second of all, my flare has ended! I'm on the mend! I can eat food again, finally! The trouble with having difficulties eating and/or food restrictions (which I'm still on) is that once you know you can eat food again, it's hard to fight the urge to eat the entire house to make up for sweet lost time. It's dangerous territory, no matter how tempting, and I encourage nobody to do that. However.

Find other things to indulge in, such as a hot blanket of sweet smelling bubbles. - May I just mention that my bath water is not dirty, but that my bath melt had already melted and coloured the water. -  When my gut is happy, I'm definitely more happy and now that I'm reunited with my ability to relax, it's all I'm going to spend the next few days doing. The "sweet freedom of unemployment" (I'm joking), though hopefully temporary as I have at least one interview already lined up in the next couple of weeks. I miss work terribly.

PLANS, DREAMS, GOALS

For when, my whole life? For this year? I don't really know what this question is truly asking me, so I'll go ahead and decipher it into my own method of writing about them for this current moment in time.

Plans for February: Oh holy hell, January is legit almost over! ...How?! Although January never stays for long, this year I'm glad it didn't because I got a couple of things going on in February, including a holiday with my other half. It's also a month for a lot of birthdays for the people in my life. I can guarantee that February is going to be a lot more active than January was. It always ends up that way somehow.

Goals for 2015:
- Remain active now that I've become more active than usual. Don't stop with that!
- Travel somewhere you've never been to before.
- Purchase a DSLR camera, one that films as well, preferably.
- Unleash the DIY-er in me. It's already beginning.
- My deadline to complete my apprenticeship is April 2016, but if I can finish it this year, that'll be splendid.
- Continue with "defeating my demons" and gain more self growth this year, continuing on from last year.

Dreams for life: My ultimate dream, is to be sitting in a big cushioned chair, old and wrinkly, with picture frames, picture albums all around me, souvenirs, memories scattered around my home and just to have one moment with myself and think about how fortunate I was to live the life I lived and who I lived it with. To have no regrets, just rollercoasters and adventures, in this wonderful thing we call life. To know that no matter what, it always works out in the end. To have that final contentment, that is my dream.

Oh, and to see Aurora Borealis at least once in my life.

SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

As a child growing up, my drive was above and beyond the clouds. I was a high achiever, primarily in art and dance. I was a competitive dancer. My intention with this snippet of the post is not to boast about my life achievements, not at all, it's just to share something that I'm a bit proud of, personally. Something that I can look back and lean on when the present gets rough. Something that I can reminisce about.

When I see my medals from competing in dance, my eyes gander across the metal circles that are attached to my black waistcoat to keep them all safe and in one place, and I still immediately remember how I gained every single one. I know which medal was my first one to get and which ones were the toughest to get. The ones that I was against all odds in achieving. And that, to me, delivers a message, one that I sometimes desperately need. It gives me the self reassurance and confidence to get back on my feet and mercilessly bulldoze through whatever stands in my way. Whether I'm successful or I land right back onto my knees, the attempt is progress in itself.

And with that, I've learned that some things never truly leave you.