Zen

First of all, where have you lovely people come from?! Why hello there! Let's talk! ♥

Second of all, my flare has ended! I'm on the mend! I can eat food again, finally! The trouble with having difficulties eating and/or food restrictions (which I'm still on) is that once you know you can eat food again, it's hard to fight the urge to eat the entire house to make up for sweet lost time. It's dangerous territory, no matter how tempting, and I encourage nobody to do that. However.

Find other things to indulge in, such as a hot blanket of sweet smelling bubbles. - May I just mention that my bath water is not dirty, but that my bath melt had already melted and coloured the water. -  When my gut is happy, I'm definitely more happy and now that I'm reunited with my ability to relax, it's all I'm going to spend the next few days doing. The "sweet freedom of unemployment" (I'm joking), though hopefully temporary as I have at least one interview already lined up in the next couple of weeks. I miss work terribly.

PLANS, DREAMS, GOALS

For when, my whole life? For this year? I don't really know what this question is truly asking me, so I'll go ahead and decipher it into my own method of writing about them for this current moment in time.

Plans for February: Oh holy hell, January is legit almost over! ...How?! Although January never stays for long, this year I'm glad it didn't because I got a couple of things going on in February, including a holiday with my other half. It's also a month for a lot of birthdays for the people in my life. I can guarantee that February is going to be a lot more active than January was. It always ends up that way somehow.

Goals for 2015:
- Remain active now that I've become more active than usual. Don't stop with that!
- Travel somewhere you've never been to before.
- Purchase a DSLR camera, one that films as well, preferably.
- Unleash the DIY-er in me. It's already beginning.
- My deadline to complete my apprenticeship is April 2016, but if I can finish it this year, that'll be splendid.
- Continue with "defeating my demons" and gain more self growth this year, continuing on from last year.

Dreams for life: My ultimate dream, is to be sitting in a big cushioned chair, old and wrinkly, with picture frames, picture albums all around me, souvenirs, memories scattered around my home and just to have one moment with myself and think about how fortunate I was to live the life I lived and who I lived it with. To have no regrets, just rollercoasters and adventures, in this wonderful thing we call life. To know that no matter what, it always works out in the end. To have that final contentment, that is my dream.

Oh, and to see Aurora Borealis at least once in my life.

SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

As a child growing up, my drive was above and beyond the clouds. I was a high achiever, primarily in art and dance. I was a competitive dancer. My intention with this snippet of the post is not to boast about my life achievements, not at all, it's just to share something that I'm a bit proud of, personally. Something that I can look back and lean on when the present gets rough. Something that I can reminisce about.

When I see my medals from competing in dance, my eyes gander across the metal circles that are attached to my black waistcoat to keep them all safe and in one place, and I still immediately remember how I gained every single one. I know which medal was my first one to get and which ones were the toughest to get. The ones that I was against all odds in achieving. And that, to me, delivers a message, one that I sometimes desperately need. It gives me the self reassurance and confidence to get back on my feet and mercilessly bulldoze through whatever stands in my way. Whether I'm successful or I land right back onto my knees, the attempt is progress in itself.

And with that, I've learned that some things never truly leave you.