The world is your oyster

There is something else you may not know about me. I'm going to share this part of my life with you. I'm in an unexpected long distance relationship. I am aware that the stigma those words hold is quite heavy and I can hardly blame anyone. I say unexpected, because I never saw myself being in one. I didn't believe in them when I met him. I laughed at the whole idea of it. I've known this dude for quite some time. Long enough for him to witness a good amount of phases in my life before we grew closer. It's a very, very, very long and complicated story.

But here we are, nine months later. I couldn't even begin to tell you how it happened, especially considering the fact that I had no definite faith, nor did I consider having faith in this sort of thing so it wasn't like I was out looking for one to happen. I always thought, if you haven't spent real life time together, nothing is set in stone. Nothing could ever possibly emerge if you have no real life foundation to build upon. A lot still firmly believe that. I can tell you right now that I no longer do. I no longer believe that physical contact is required to build an emotional foundation between two souls. The thought of letting the only thing that's absent - physical contact - destroy something that makes me ridiculously blissful, absolutely pains me. So here we are, nine months later, with our first ever holiday together, just the two of us, looming closer though not fast enough. Flight and hotel are booked. I'm so ready to go.

Obviously restocking for the upcoming holiday. Matrix Sleek shampoo and conditioner leave my hair feeling softer than silk. That's impressive considering my naturally wild, thick curly hair. Nair for, well, obvious reasons. I also have bought trusty heavy duty padlocks to make my luggage that much more annoying - though not impossible - to get into, should we ever encounter a theft.. Yup! Bring it on!

Zen

First of all, where have you lovely people come from?! Why hello there! Let's talk! ♥

Second of all, my flare has ended! I'm on the mend! I can eat food again, finally! The trouble with having difficulties eating and/or food restrictions (which I'm still on) is that once you know you can eat food again, it's hard to fight the urge to eat the entire house to make up for sweet lost time. It's dangerous territory, no matter how tempting, and I encourage nobody to do that. However.

Find other things to indulge in, such as a hot blanket of sweet smelling bubbles. - May I just mention that my bath water is not dirty, but that my bath melt had already melted and coloured the water. -  When my gut is happy, I'm definitely more happy and now that I'm reunited with my ability to relax, it's all I'm going to spend the next few days doing. The "sweet freedom of unemployment" (I'm joking), though hopefully temporary as I have at least one interview already lined up in the next couple of weeks. I miss work terribly.

PLANS, DREAMS, GOALS

For when, my whole life? For this year? I don't really know what this question is truly asking me, so I'll go ahead and decipher it into my own method of writing about them for this current moment in time.

Plans for February: Oh holy hell, January is legit almost over! ...How?! Although January never stays for long, this year I'm glad it didn't because I got a couple of things going on in February, including a holiday with my other half. It's also a month for a lot of birthdays for the people in my life. I can guarantee that February is going to be a lot more active than January was. It always ends up that way somehow.

Goals for 2015:
- Remain active now that I've become more active than usual. Don't stop with that!
- Travel somewhere you've never been to before.
- Purchase a DSLR camera, one that films as well, preferably.
- Unleash the DIY-er in me. It's already beginning.
- My deadline to complete my apprenticeship is April 2016, but if I can finish it this year, that'll be splendid.
- Continue with "defeating my demons" and gain more self growth this year, continuing on from last year.

Dreams for life: My ultimate dream, is to be sitting in a big cushioned chair, old and wrinkly, with picture frames, picture albums all around me, souvenirs, memories scattered around my home and just to have one moment with myself and think about how fortunate I was to live the life I lived and who I lived it with. To have no regrets, just rollercoasters and adventures, in this wonderful thing we call life. To know that no matter what, it always works out in the end. To have that final contentment, that is my dream.

Oh, and to see Aurora Borealis at least once in my life.

SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

As a child growing up, my drive was above and beyond the clouds. I was a high achiever, primarily in art and dance. I was a competitive dancer. My intention with this snippet of the post is not to boast about my life achievements, not at all, it's just to share something that I'm a bit proud of, personally. Something that I can look back and lean on when the present gets rough. Something that I can reminisce about.

When I see my medals from competing in dance, my eyes gander across the metal circles that are attached to my black waistcoat to keep them all safe and in one place, and I still immediately remember how I gained every single one. I know which medal was my first one to get and which ones were the toughest to get. The ones that I was against all odds in achieving. And that, to me, delivers a message, one that I sometimes desperately need. It gives me the self reassurance and confidence to get back on my feet and mercilessly bulldoze through whatever stands in my way. Whether I'm successful or I land right back onto my knees, the attempt is progress in itself.

And with that, I've learned that some things never truly leave you.

Answers

I am offically no longer caught up with my 30 day challenges of daily blogging! Oops. I've unintentionally put myself a few days behind. Valid reasons, I have. This past week, my health has been barbaric. Unexplained nausea and unusual abdominal pain, until now. I now come equipped with a digestive disorder, which I was diagnosed with two days ago. It's been undiagnosed but speculated for years and now it's official. Peppermint is now my best friend. And I've been placed onto a Fodmap diet thing to figure out exactly what foods my intestines have trouble digesting. So basically, I need new intestines. Anyone? No?..

OUT AND ABOUT

Ah, the little town where I spend most of my time outdoors. I do most of my shopping here and it's where I do volunteer work for a children's charity. The eerie, heavy blankets of cloud threatened snow. The weather stations, including Met Office have been forecasting snow for where I live. Have I seen a single flake of the stuff? No. It's definitely cold enough for it to snow though. Luckily, I completed all of my errands before, whatever we may get, arrives.

ANOTHER PICTURE OF YOU

Mid IBS flare up. No make up, sleep deprived, nausea when I eat, nausea when I don't eat, generous about of fatigue, I was hardly a candidate for a picture of happiness and health. But this was the last step to completing the Open When series of letters for my other half and I'll be damned if he can't accept me at my worse times, haha. He made that heart I'm holding. It's got a cog wheel inside of it so you can twist it and it will disfigure the shape of the heart. After a full turn, it'll shape itself back into a heart. It's a very cool thing. Very cool.

Come Inside

WHAT'S IN MY BAG

Ohhhh yes! I've never done one of these before but it's a guilty pleasure of mine to look up this tag that people do on Youtube and gaze at everyone's belongings. Heh. And it's the next thing for me to do in my monthly challenge. I get the post pretty pictures and talk about my contents and you get to be freely nosey! Win-win! Shall we dive right into this, yas? Because it's probably going to take a little while.

My effin' beautiful bag. My bag of skulls and roses, some of my favourite statements. It's brand is actually unknown, so whether it's genuine or not, I couldn't tell you. But do you know what? It smells real. It feels real. And for something that pleases my very soul like this bag does, I don't crave to search for it's brand name or realness. I'm not that much of a brand follower anyway to be honest. I also enjoy the fact that this bag can be held by the handles, or across the body using the long strap that's hidden behind it in these photos. I tend to go for the latter 99% of the time.

Inside the main compartment are these things! My favourite coloured blue skull purse (see the pattern forming here?), my passport which I seriously need to start using more often, my red 3DS and my new book Angelfall! These guys come with me everywhere, minus the new book but it's probably going to be keeping me company for a while anyway.

The only resolution I gave myself for this brand new year is to read more. I was a calmer and more imaginative person when I had a good book in my life and for some bizarre reason, I can't seem to get into my Game of Thrones book no matter how many times I try to. However, this book seems to have my full attention and I can't contain my excitement for it any longer. I'm going to start reading it yesterday.

MY BABY. I'm a 200% Nintendo child and this goes with me everywhere too. I keep it turned on but closed inside my bag because the town where I volunteer at a children's charity is a hotspot for Street Pass. It always clocks up 20+ new people by the time I arrive home. I'm going to do the same thing at Comicon, oh yes I am.

These are some of the most basic things I carry with me, really. An umbrella because, well, England rains a lot. My skull and roses gloves (DO YOU SEE THE PATTERN YET?) that I got as a birthday present, a wrist rope bracelet that I wear quite often but sometimes take off while I'm working and a watch that I never knew was in there. The watch was also a birthday present of mine but from a good few years ago which my Thai friend in art college bought me. I don't wear it though.

The care clutter of my bag. Dove deodorant, in my favourite body spray scent ever. I carry Lush's Helping Hands with me due to the nature of my career as well as general use. Infection control = lots of hand washing = dry hands. FUN FACT: According to a lovely Lush employee, Lush made Helping Hands for nurses and healthcare assistants who requested a hand cream that absorbed quickly because we simply don't have the time to sit down and massage it into the skin. This cream does wonders for my hands. This cream is my sidekick. I also love Carmex for dry skin. I have Halls with me all the time especially during the winter months, should I ever develop a sore throat. The Body Shop's hand cleanser to help boost hand hygiene and some old nail clippers.

These two perfumes are the only ones I'll ever wear (secret third perfume I'll only ever wear: Dior's Poison). I'm not a big fan of perfumes but these two are staple in my life. Cool Water is my college scent. I wore this every single day and holds many college memories for me. I love to smell fresh and not of flowers or candy. A little goes a long way with this stuff. This is my second bottle of it. Laying next to it is Boss' Ma Vie. This perfume was a Christmas present from my brother and he must know me and my love for my fresh scents pretty well considering this scent is floral, but still smells super fresh. FRESH.

Bandanas are my version of a scarf and always have been. Here is Ecotool's my make up bag with very little in it as I like to keep it simple and my compact tangle teezer which combs through my thick, long hair with absolute ease. It combs any newly formed knots out painlessly. I love that thing.

Before I start talking about these products, let me just say that I don't wear make up everyday, especially on a work day. I like my skin 'breathing' when I work. But on a day that I do decide to put some on, this is all I'll take with me. Minus my MAC concealer, whoops. Here, I have two MAC blushes in Vintage Grape and Cubic, a face powder by them (not terribly fond of it),  one NARS blush in Exhibit A and Urban Decay's 24/7 eyeliner in Perversion. Throughout the day, I find that these are the only things I'll find myself reapplying at some point. I don't even know why I carry 3 blushes with me, but these are my 3 most used.

The little pot that you may have seen sitting next to my make up bag, but won't fit in there, is my MAC lip balm in Purring. I'm not about that lipstick/lipgloss life. I'm all about them tinted lip balms and this one is my favourite by miles. Though, I try to use it sparingly, it is limited edition after all.

SWITCH LIVES FOR ONE DAY

I.. I don't actually know! I've sat here for about half an hour and absolutely nobody springs to my mind with this question. I don't really have an idol or anyone that I find interesting enough to think about what their life is like. And not everyone does, so that's my answer really. Nobody, heh. If anything, I'm more than likely to switch lives with a cat for one day. All that pampering and having no commitments or cares to give. All those catnaps and treats. Not a care in the world. Bliss.

Rave

10 SONG SHUFFLE

1. Swerve City - Deftones
2. Starfuckers Inc - NIN
3. Black Milk - Massive Attack
4. Bleed - Meshuggah
5. Firestarter - Prodigy
6. Californication - RHCP
7. Man in the Box - Alice in Chains
8. Cthulhu Sleeps - deadmau5
9. Aerodynamic - Daft Punk
10. Nerve - Soilwork

YELLOW

Hmm, yellow. It's surprised me how much I lack the colour yellow in my life. Genuinely struggled for this picture challenge and I've never done a products rave before, so here it is. Laying next to my trusty Pikachu plushie are a range of products that nothing can beat to make my skin soft in terms of general use. With Lush's Buffy being sent down from the heavens for my skin, it's not something I go for on a daily basis but The Body Shop's mango range are a pretty damn close second on making my skin as smooth as baby skin. They've been my go to shower products for about a year now and I doubt it'll be changing this year either. My skin drinks this stuff. Mango is my bae.

Alternative

TIME

Discovery reigns my Wednesday. I woke up to discover that my current hair dye is playing some serious games with me. I discovered Spotify for the first time ever and when I found out I could make my own playlists, angels sang. With that, I rediscovered some ancient bands that are forever embedded into my heart from growing up. New bands are also entering my playlists. Still, after three hours, playlists are being born. I'm spiralling out of control, thanks to Spotify. I learned how to make origami hearts and realised that origami is insanely therapeutic. 

And for a little bit of added ultimate irony, I've discovered that Dutch tea beats British tea by miles. Since having tasted Pickwick's grace in a cup, half of my inferior British tea collection is now in the rubbish bin.

Mute Tuesday

LOW ANGLE

Now that I have somewhat of a schedule beginning to take shape, I'm now free to sit down, try to unwind which is proving to be a bit tough with all these floating ideas still waiting to be implemented into my life. But I'm going to try and I'll start by writing out this double daily challenge post! Since I didn't have time to do yesterday's challenges, but heck, I don't mind at all. These challenges are hella fun to do, and I might do one for next month as well. I don't secretly have one saved all ready for next month, gosh, what are you talking about?

HOW YOU FOUND BLOGGER & WHY YOU MADE ONE

I've been lurking Blogger for about two years now, trying to make sense of it all as it's very different to what I'm used to - tumblr. Now, tumblr is brilliant. I love that thing. But to me, it's more for instant attractions using instant mechanisms with instant reactions, rather than grabbing a cup of tea, sitting down and settling in to really read a good post documenting their life, thoughts, treasures and findings. I tend to enjoy more and I couldn't get that out of tumblr. It wasn't the right platform for me, if you will. I can't for the life of me remember how I originally found Blogger but when I did, it was heaven. It was exactly what I was looking for, though I couldn't figure the system out. However, I finally made it! And now Blogger and Bloglovin' take up a good 60% of my laptop time. I have no regrets about that either.

ART

My most favourite piece of artwork I've ever owned in my entire life. I bought this in February '12 at Comicon. I do have an unusual love for skulls but that's not the only thing that drew me to this canvas. Inside the canvas was a laminated note with a quote on it, saying what the canvas meant. It said something along the lines of "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot extinguish it". Deep appreciation for it grew from the get go and I purchased it. Since then, it's never left my life or my wall. The pink is about to be painted over with deep teal though, I'm not about that life.

Win some, lose some

DOOR

Found a new place for my cat sign, on my bedroom door next to these pretty neat flower canvas' that I've found no use or space for up until now. I swear they've been leaning up against a wall on the floor for the past two years. They're not really 'my thing' hence I was in no rush to hang then in my room, but now the hallway looks a lot more brighter. Plus, they're heavily disguising a bunch of small holes in the wall caused from a load of pins which held up a Christmas tree shaped tinsel decoration that I mashed together on that wall. Oh well, no one will know! Apart from whoever reads this, however...

A PICTURE OF ME AND MY FRIENDS

...Heh. This is where I hit a wall with this 30 day challenge, because all the pictures of me and my friends that I own are currently stored on a harddrive that I can't currently access. It's my old laptop's harddrive and the laptop that I have now is only a couple of months old and I haven't taken any pictures with my friends recently, evidently. That's sad. This is a mega sad story. 

Speaking of pictures, me and my family came across a picture of me and all three of my brothers together yesterday. T'was somewhat of a miracle discovery as it's the only one in existence that we have with all of us together. We also found out that it was taken roughly ten years ago and I came up with the idea of us all getting together real soon and taking a new one, only ten years later. That'll be freakin' cool.

Fibres

BEST BIT OF YOUR WEEKEND

The magic hasn't happened yet but this is all in plan for tomorrow morning. I am notorious on having good looking hair and google-eyeing other people's good looking hair. I love good hair, end of story. Natural, crazy coloured, long, short, curly, straight, I don't care. I love all kinds of good hair. But for me, I grew up with having some wacky, stylish haircuts and it was almost always dyed black with red bits in it. Or it was black overall. Only on one occasion did I try to have purple grape coloured hair and it was gorgeous. It suited my brown eyes and olive skin tone really well. Why I didn't go for it again, I'll never know. But I'm about to remedy that. I'm bringing plum back. OH YES.

SONGS YOU LISTEN TO WHEN YOU'RE:

HAPPY

SAD

BORED

HYPED

MAD

(Soilwork are a new band for me, they please my rock roots very much so)

Slumber

YOUR VIEW TODAY

My phone alarm apparently decided to let me sleep a couple of hours longer this morning, since I discovered it was somehow turned off. Because of that, I overslept and I feel like I've been in a hazy dream all day. My other half, the devil that he is, surprised me with his presence. He cancelled plans today because he felt like he hadn't spent any time with me lately. Then my heart turned into a mushy pile of mush. It didn't stop me from slightly telling him off, which took great effort considering my selfish needs, I'll admit it. But it's true, we're both ambitious, both on apprenticeships and we don't get a lot of time together at all. So for this once, for today, I allowed us to have what we wanted to have - each other... I'll go get the buckets and violins.

Right now, my view is pretty much my typical homebody view. The picture is horrendously blurry and I don't really understand why, but it won't be long before I manage to get an SLR and I can step up my game, big time. There's a huge cup of coffee, which I might add has THE best Dutch coffee I've ever had the pleasure to introduce my overly ecstatic taste buds to, a game which both me and him love to play - which is pretty much game that allows friendly fire for our team killing needs, my Moogle teddy which I bought a few years ago at a Comicon - which I may be attending again next month (eeeee!), a Yankee Candle in my most favourite scent of Pink Dragon Fruit! Yay! It would be lit right this very second if the jar didn't arrive in pieces. So I'm having to melt and re-pot it into an empty jar soon. It'll break my very heart if I had to resort to cutting it into chunks to melt on the burner instead. No can do, I'm saving this candle if it's the last thing I do!

SOMETHING YOU'RE PROUD OF IN THE PAST FEW DAYS

Two years ago, if what was happening in my life now happened back then, I'd be in crumbles. I wouldn't have known how to stay on my two feet, I would have given up on everything and I would have returned to my old habits. I'm deliberately not going into detail, I apologise. Fudge these past few days, the whole of last December proved to me just how in control of my life I am now. It taught me that even though things are getting real messy, everything will turn out okay in the end. The way I view life now, that's what I'm proud of.

It's still xmas somewhere

JANUARY SHORT TERM GOALS

Begin Yoga

I know this is a long term process, but just to make a start on it makes it short term because I have yet to do that and I have yet to figure out how to get it into my routine. I've been wanting to start this for forever and I don't want to put it off until the next month and then the next month. January, it begins.

Finish my other half's love letters
About a month ago, I started making an Open When letter series for him personally. I still haven't finished it. I want to say that I'm over half way done with it now. Never would I have thought about how much time it needs! All over Christmas, I was working as well so I didn't have the time it needed.

Buy a new sketchbook and start it
The easiest, but most vital goal I have for the month. Get back into my artsyfartsyness. I'm a former art student and art has been my thing for all of my life. Yet, I have little to show for it. My college in South Wales kept most of my art work and/or was displayed on their walls when I left. And when I left, I had no idea that would be the last time I saw the college because shortly after, I moved back to England. Since starting a career in care, whether it stays permanent or it's a temporary thing, one of the things I learned about myself last year is that I'm horrific at keeping my work head at work. Meaning, when I was home, I was still thinking about work and I couldn't settle down. Meaning, I became stressed because I had no downtime and my outlet, which is art, unintentionally slipped from my fingers. I grew to learn that without art, I could potentially become insane. So, now that I'm finally listening to myself, this will begin as well. I may even share some of my work here.

For my short term goals, that's pretty much it. I'm taking it easy. Cool as a cucumber. Cool.

SIX O'CLOCK

18:05. My package that my other half made for me arrived today, instead of yesterday like it was scheduled it. I'm currently waiting for him to arrive because he wants to see my reactions as I open the presents he bought for me. I have no idea how many are in here, the box is quite big. Nonetheless, it doesn't matter. Happy late Christmas to us. <3

Nothing to everything

You know when you go from having little to nothing to do with your free time, to having so much rammed into your schedule that you can hardly juggle it? Yeah, that happened yesterday, which meant I had no time to blog. So I'm going to merge yesterday and today in this post. And you shall like it! Yas!

HAT & DRINK

My cute and fluffy cat hat! I bought this about two to three years go, I want to say? Worn it inside my home 35,038 times, worn it in outside publicly 0 times. Part of the reason is that I have this talent where I buy things I spot in stores because those things make automatically make my life more amazing, I get home, put it away safely and then I forget about it for obscene amounts of time. This hat has been so abandoned and I couldn't even tell you why because it's amazing. I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it.

BIGGEST IMPACT ON YOU

Music. It's always there, it's always ready for you. It soothes the soul, it takes you on adventures, it's your pep talk, it's your dancing buddy, your shoulder to cry on, your inspiration. The sound of music has never let me down, it's been there during the best times of my life and the darkest times which it's countlessly pulled me out of. Which it does for millions of people every single day. Pretty near impossible to separate me from my music. As the first new addiction to my collection in 2015, I've been getting deeply into Fever Ray, so much that it's all that's playing on my music lists right now.

FAVOURITE SUPERHERO & WHY

Now, I'm not usually one for heroes. I'm not about that life. I'm all about dem villains, with the whole spectrum of Batman villains being absolutely legendary. No one will ever top those guys. But there is one guy that always tickles my fancy. Deadpool. More anti-hero, more chaotic neutral, more my kind of thing. No qualms, no morals. 100% humour, regardless. My kind of anti-hero.

Winter Walks

SOMEWHERE YOU'VE BEEN TO

This little trip almost didn't happen this morning. The words adventure and anxiety are never in sync with each other, never. They are the angel and the devil that sit upon my shoulders. Fortunately, I can proudly say that me and the angel are gradually becoming close buddies as of late. Thus, my somewhat planned stroll to a rather popular place close to home took place.

Now, Ironbridge has always been meh to me. I grew up near it and it was always there, whatever. Never understood it's popularity and never cared for it. That was until I moved to South Wales and when people found out that I came from Shropshire, they asked me if I had been to Ironbridge. I'd always answer with a rather confused "yeah, why?" and it wasn't until my then Geography teacher told me that it's the first bridge of it's kind to be built in the entire world, the birthplace of industrial revolution. No wonder I always saw people of different nationalities posing in front of the bridge for a picture, having picnics and reading stones with words carved into them. Just goes to show how much I paid attention to my surroundings as a child.

So with my grown up eyes and my sponge for knowledge (my brain), I gave this place another chance. The first thing I will comment on vent about actually, is that Google Earth lied to me. I use that program to map out routes and figure out directions and it shown me that I had to walk down a pretty long road to reach my destination. Cool, my brain didn't have to survive the shock it gets when it has to deal with complicated instructions. Pretty straight forward, it was. I told my mother which way I was going before I left. "Are you mad? You'll never walk back up that hill." I thought what? Huh? It doesn't look that steep at all. Until I got there myself. What Google Earth failed to show me was the sudden nosedive the road did. It never shown me that there was about four nosedives in total on the way to Ironbridge. It looked like a ten minute mute walk down a bit of road, not twenty minutes of trying to keep my balance as I stroll down this rollercoaster of a road. Cheers, Google.

To be honest, the gloomy winter weather today was perfect. With the mild fog lurking in the air, it made the bridge, the trees, the path, the sky look more eerie. I digged that. Considering the bitter cold, the little town wasn't empty by any means, I was actually lucky that no one got caught in the shot above. Cultural small cafes sprawled along the high street. Modernized, prouder restaurants dotted every far and few between. Towering hotels. Warm, welcoming gift shops. The settlement as a whole felt pleasant and I grew a little bit more to understand the ironclad history this place holds. It's not just any ol' silly bridge, as I thought 15 years ago. It's far beyond my understanding and pretty nifty that I'm only a walk away from here so I can come back here pretty much whenever I want to.

Did you honestly believe that I could ignore this sitting in a window display in one of Ironbridge's gift stores?

A SIGN

Saw this, immediately thought of my other half. We have a private humour between us that on the outside, we openly despise each other. It's all banter though, we just love to hate each other. We thrive on being mean to each other. That's how we, strangely enough, keep each other sane. I may buy this next time around, it's freakin' perfect. For him.

The minor details are the boldest

CLOSE UP

Since leaving my previous post, I feel like I've been rediscovering little parts of my life due to having this new found endless pit of free time. Guess what though? I'm already bored. I have a plan so fret I shall not, but it means that in the meantime I will have to keep myself busy by other means. This morning was the first morning in quite a few months that Luka (above) was able to come up onto my bed and snuggle with me. In his five years of life, this was routine for him. Morning snuggles with me. My job meant that we could go longer do that for a while as I didn't have the time for it. I don't think he took that very well as he started to develop health issues stemmed from stress, as the vet put it. This broke my heart, in all honesty. He's the king of my heart and he darn well knows it. I went all out, bought Feliway plugins, a hooded litter tray to give him more privacy as urinating was one of the health issues, I left clothes with my scent on wherever he choose to be in the house. It worked, sort of. He definitely calmed down quite a lot. Though I wish I could get him to understand that I'm not disappearing to pet hundreds of other cats, I'm working so he can be fed, be warm and comfortable and to make sure he always has something to pee in. It is up to me to make it up to him, for he will never truly understand my absence, with these luxurious morning snuggles of ours.

A HABIT YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE

I've noticed, and have been called out on my brand new habit of locking every door I close, if a lock is present. Without any genuine reason. It's there, I do it. Even if people are soon about to walk through the same door that I just went though, I'll still lock it absent-mindedly. I don't have the slightest idea on why I do this to be quite frank and I don't realise what I've done until I'm met with confused glances and being questioned on whether or not I'm deliberately locking them in for random reasons. I nervously smile and explain that I didn't realise I'd locked the door and apologise. They shrug it off, unlock the door and get on with their day. I sit there, just like I am right this second, trying to come up with a plausible, logical reason for this nonsense.

Heartstrings

Everyone has something in their life that they treat as the answer to most things. Whether it's a bad day and you're in dire need of some alone time or it's a guilty pleasure, or both, everyone has something that they turn to to make the day more bearable or to downright spoil themselves. For me, Lush Cosmetics is both. It's my kick starter of the day, it's my go to for an hour long 'me' bath, it's my therapy, my luxury, my every Christmas/birthday gift that everyone knows me well enough to repetitively purchase for me with us all knowing that the excitement I get still feels like the very first time I discovered them. I'm a complete Lush nut, hands down. My regret from this Christmas is that I didn't go out and get another 50 bottles of So White shower gel. Now they're no longer available. The struggle is real.

ANIMALS

Bailey & Luka (left, right). Another thing about me that is pretty prominent, but drastically more obvious, is that I'm a crazy cat lady. I happen to have two of these fluffy, angelic-looking, demonic purr machines. I get to wake up every single morning with Luka kneading my bare skin until it goes numb and Bailey being hyperactive and running around because humans waking up means food. She's small, right? Her stomach is a black hole. She is never full. I get to get dressed and ready for the day whilst Luka tries to stop me in my tracks for snuggle time round two within the first hour of the day. I get to stop the both of them from kneading on clean/brand new clothes in attempt to keep my wardrobe contents hole and fur free. I get to feel the cold air graze along my skin as they have stolen and claimed my black robe as their new bed thing, despite me spending about £50 on beds for them that they never prefer. I can't complain about food theft, neither of them do that. What I can also complain about is them singing the songs of their people right as I'm about to become busy, whereas I was free beforehand but it was not a good time for them, even though they were free too. I get to wrestle both of them off my bed (gently) every night because lord knows they'll never let me sleep as our night time is their day time. And since they were born almost five years ago, I've not once wanted to change a thing.

ON YOUR PLATE

Madraaaaaaaaas! You'll have to get used to the fact that 90% of my food pictures will have some level of chilli content in it. I can handle quite a lot of it. It burns and it feels good... well, this is a bit awkward.

Purge

For the second morning of a new year, I woke up extraordinarily late. I completely took advantage of the fact that it's the first day being permanently off rota since I just left my job. No hard feelings, no drama, I'm just not quite sure if it's the right thing for me right now since after half a year of being there, I still wasn't settling in. Got a lot to figure out. I've got a loooot of exploring to do! Also featured in today's resume was the first proper meal of this year. I mean, proper. After two weeks of voluntarily threatening my health with eating unforgivable amounts of junk, a meal like this is incredibly welcome.

(as per usual, seasoned with black pepper and chilli sauce)

To help introduce myself to the blog world, I'm going to complete two 30 day challenges. Woop! One is about introduction and about said person and the other one is a photography challenge. On day two:

MEANING

khayosdancer, this name has been with me for a number of years. It's basically a bunch of my own meanings all merged into one. Growing up, I used to dance and was in a dance group who travelled around the UK competing. It's been a very long time since I left, but it's a part of me. I used to use the name khayos on most things, in most games, etc. I no longer do but it's a name that's stuck with me. Putting those two words together bring out it's third meaning and something I strive to do all the time which is pretty much learning to keep a smile if things get chaotic.

EMPTY

One of the most diabolic things about working at Christmas was that I didn't have any time to complete my other half's package on time. Every couple of months, we make these for each other, full of random gifts and surprises. Like a lucky dip, if you will. This is what his next package currently looks like. Mind you, I haven't received his package to me yet, so they're both late. Neither of us mind. It's all good. <3