♥

SHORT HIATUS

My local town centre got snazzier all of a sudden. I found Starbucks. We finally have Starbucks. *screaming*

The other half of me who likes to scratch my bedroom door at 2.30am because he wants attention.

My wall painting is complete. We discovered how old these houses truly are with the crappy plastering.

And then I welcomed Skyrim back into my life. My love for this game is truly endless.

Because of the very near events that are about to happen in my life, I think it would be wise for me to take a small break from my blog. A little hiatus. I may not even taken my laptop with me when I go on holiday, despite Premier Inn broadcasting that they've recently upgraded to free WiFi in all of their hotels. I'm one of those people who likes to be as electronic free as possible when I'm planning to savor moments in my life. The only thing I like to have with me is my mobile phone and maybe a camera, depending on the situation. This is where I sit back in my chair and consider the fact that I'm actually getting old with my preferences compared to today's generation. So, until the beginning of March, I will be off the map completely to cherish my time with my loved ones. Tomorrow marks a huge milestone for me. See you all in March. Adios!

Sights

The more I try to puzzle my schedule together, the more it falls apart on me. I've noted down my main appointments, such as my check up tomorrow and my interview on Friday that I'm not remotely prepared for. I've dedicated tomorrow to help me prepare for it. Last minute. I'm apparently brilliant at that. Everything else I need to plan is left floating around waiting for me to gather time to do them. It's a coincidence that I'm becoming stressed out to the point where I feel like I need a holiday, yet I have one starting next week. Does it always feel like this before a scheduled holiday?

FAVOURITE PHOTO YOU'VE EVER TAKEN

As you may or may not have already guessed, I have a genuine infatuation with sky photography. I love the sky. I adore it. My brother makes timelapse videos of the sky, filming the clouds roll past as the sky blends through different colours of the day. When he shares yet another one he made with me, it's like Christmas morning for me, it really is. Storms are my atmosphere of serenity. I'm a pure air child.

It is very rare for the UK to have so much snow that when you step into it, the surface of it reaches half way up your calf and your foot disappears. This picture was taken while walking back from my friends house which usually takes about 15 minutes, though the snow made a bit difficult to walk uphill and easily doubled the usually time trying to get home.

SOMEONE YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING WITH IN THE FUTURE

He was the last person I expected to enter my life. Not even a possibility. He's -the- person that I always imagined myself being with, but I never found him. Until I found him. He entered my life and turned it upside down, for the better. His existence changed everything. It changed the way I thought about things, the way I felt about things and it made me discover just how unhappy I was with my life at the time he arrived. When I saw him, I saw the life that I wanted. I saw the person I wanted to share my life with. The best part of it all? He confessed his feelings for me first. You can only imagine how smitten I was when he did, as I had been hiding the same feelings. It was a sign to me that we were meant to happen. It would be foolish to lay down the law and say that I will definitely still be with him as I become old and wrinkly, but it's not foolish to aim for that with all of my heart. I've been in love twice before, but I feel like this is my very first 'true love'. Having no doubts and  the feeling of pure settlement is a first for me. I don't know what our future holds, but right now, my life is blissful with him. His presence alone makes me sense what true happiness feels like.

The Netflix Tag

1. What are you favourite series' to watch on Netflix? 
Breaking Bad! Oh jeez, I can't recommend it enough. Last summer, I watched that show religiously from beginning to end. It sent me through whirlwinds of emotions, which 99% of the shows I tend to watch don't have the ability to do to me. The characters are absolutely fantastic. I really didn't want this show to end. I'm so looking forward to Better Call Saul! A close second favourite is Orange is the New Black, in which I am impatiently waiting for the new series to release.

2. What are you currently watching on Netflix? 
Dexter, Scrubs, Death Note and Buffy. Dexter is a new series to me but I've gotten pretty stuck in it and thoroughly enjoying it. I, being in the healthcare sector, can very faintly relate to certain scenes in Scrubs, let alone the show making me cackle with laughter multiple times per episode, particularly because of Ted. I love Ted so much. Death Note is also brand new to me, so I have no particular thoughts about that as of yet. Now, Buffy, I have mixed feelings with. It's incredibly cheesy and predictable at times, in my opinion. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be watching this show for.

3. If you could have any series, old or new put on Netflix, what would it be? 
I'd love for Friends to be on Netflix. Whenever I was watching TV in my teenage years, you can bet it was Friends on TV. Admittedly, I can recite almost every single episode, which makes the show a comforting background noise to me. I'd also like True Blood on there as well, which I have yet to finish watching. I also wish that the UK version had Supernatural, just like the US version apparently does.

4. What is your one peeve about Netflix? 
...I can't say that I have a complaint, really.

5. What are your essentials for a perfect night in with Netflix? 
A nice steaming hot cup of tea/coffee, a comfortable bed/sofa, my fan turned on and snacks if available. I like crunchy snacks with dips.

6. Recommend one series or film for someone else.
Breaking Bad. Give it a chance because I didn't get into it right away either.

7. What has been the most overrated series you have watched on Netflix? 
I'm slowly considering Buffy to be pretty overrated, in my opinion.

8. What is your guilty pleasure on Netflix? 
Hah, Sword Art Online. I have plenty of other guilty pleasures lined up too.

Messy

House decorating consumes my time and obliviously, my soul. Can anyone throw any decent reasons as to why I decided to start steaming wallpaper in the first place? To paint the walls and make them look polished and less torn (it was tearing in some corners), yes, that was my reason too. But for a split second of insanity, I thought it wouldn't take long at all. It's been four days now and I've only just completed melting all the paper off the walls.

Dulux paint in Dusted Damson, help me gain my soul back.

NICKNAMES YOU HAVE & WHY YOU HAVE THEM

Nix; I'm not sure how or why this nickname came about, but it's certainly stuck like glue for years now. I'm known as Nix to mainly my circle of friends, whereas my other half and my family call me by my real name.

firefly; Just going to throw in this super cheesy nickname my other half gave me. I'm his little firefly. *collective awwww*

Yep. That's pretty much it. No fancy selection of nicknames for me, it's remained pretty basic.

IMPERFECT

Perfectionism is both a blessing and a curse. The time that I spent in art college taught me that when it comes to canvas and paper work, it's more of a curse than anything else, which I was never expecting. Nor did I understand what my tutors meant to begin with. It takes a thousand lines just to find the right one. I was labelled an 'analytical artist'. Detail meant everything. It meant so much that I wasted too much time on it. It meant that my coursework was rarely finished on time, because the thought of being messy with my art drove my perfectionism to madness. It took me the longest time to understand that messy isn't wrong. The moment that I stopped correcting all the errors I'd create, I realised that messy can look pretty damn awesome. I noticed that I could express what I felt easier when I was messier. I learned the most important message of all: perfectionism and imperfection are close, friendly neighbours.

Snowclouds

Hello, February.

It welcomed us with snow that was promised to us weeks ago. Fashionably late, as per usual for the United Kingdom. It didn't even manage to remain stuck to the ground overnight, by morning you could see the dull grey concrete again, only soaking due to melted snow. It's not cold enough and to be honest, I don't really want it to get to that point anymore. Like the majority of this timezone we live in, I'm done with winter. It takes a lot for me to say that considering I'm an autumn/winter baby.

But I'm itching to wear my new sunglasses, to start running without freezing my lungs, to wear my new kimono cardigan that I bought for the upcoming warmer months. I'm pining for summer storms and flip flops. If anyone knows me well enough, they'll know that unless my feet are too cold to, I live in flip flops and sandals. I've hiked in flip flops. Not recommended.

My goal for this month:
- Complete my villains gallery wall, which will consist of Disney villains and Gotham criminals.
- Create an About Me page. Should have been the very first thing I did. Apologies!
- Get more involved in my sketchbooks.
- Create an art journal.
- Make a travel bulletin board for my collection of oddities that I've gathered from all over the UK, stick what I already have on there and build it up for inspiration and nostalgia.

The world is your oyster

There is something else you may not know about me. I'm going to share this part of my life with you. I'm in an unexpected long distance relationship. I am aware that the stigma those words hold is quite heavy and I can hardly blame anyone. I say unexpected, because I never saw myself being in one. I didn't believe in them when I met him. I laughed at the whole idea of it. I've known this dude for quite some time. Long enough for him to witness a good amount of phases in my life before we grew closer. It's a very, very, very long and complicated story.

But here we are, nine months later. I couldn't even begin to tell you how it happened, especially considering the fact that I had no definite faith, nor did I consider having faith in this sort of thing so it wasn't like I was out looking for one to happen. I always thought, if you haven't spent real life time together, nothing is set in stone. Nothing could ever possibly emerge if you have no real life foundation to build upon. A lot still firmly believe that. I can tell you right now that I no longer do. I no longer believe that physical contact is required to build an emotional foundation between two souls. The thought of letting the only thing that's absent - physical contact - destroy something that makes me ridiculously blissful, absolutely pains me. So here we are, nine months later, with our first ever holiday together, just the two of us, looming closer though not fast enough. Flight and hotel are booked. I'm so ready to go.

Obviously restocking for the upcoming holiday. Matrix Sleek shampoo and conditioner leave my hair feeling softer than silk. That's impressive considering my naturally wild, thick curly hair. Nair for, well, obvious reasons. I also have bought trusty heavy duty padlocks to make my luggage that much more annoying - though not impossible - to get into, should we ever encounter a theft.. Yup! Bring it on!

Zen

First of all, where have you lovely people come from?! Why hello there! Let's talk! ♥

Second of all, my flare has ended! I'm on the mend! I can eat food again, finally! The trouble with having difficulties eating and/or food restrictions (which I'm still on) is that once you know you can eat food again, it's hard to fight the urge to eat the entire house to make up for sweet lost time. It's dangerous territory, no matter how tempting, and I encourage nobody to do that. However.

Find other things to indulge in, such as a hot blanket of sweet smelling bubbles. - May I just mention that my bath water is not dirty, but that my bath melt had already melted and coloured the water. -  When my gut is happy, I'm definitely more happy and now that I'm reunited with my ability to relax, it's all I'm going to spend the next few days doing. The "sweet freedom of unemployment" (I'm joking), though hopefully temporary as I have at least one interview already lined up in the next couple of weeks. I miss work terribly.

PLANS, DREAMS, GOALS

For when, my whole life? For this year? I don't really know what this question is truly asking me, so I'll go ahead and decipher it into my own method of writing about them for this current moment in time.

Plans for February: Oh holy hell, January is legit almost over! ...How?! Although January never stays for long, this year I'm glad it didn't because I got a couple of things going on in February, including a holiday with my other half. It's also a month for a lot of birthdays for the people in my life. I can guarantee that February is going to be a lot more active than January was. It always ends up that way somehow.

Goals for 2015:
- Remain active now that I've become more active than usual. Don't stop with that!
- Travel somewhere you've never been to before.
- Purchase a DSLR camera, one that films as well, preferably.
- Unleash the DIY-er in me. It's already beginning.
- My deadline to complete my apprenticeship is April 2016, but if I can finish it this year, that'll be splendid.
- Continue with "defeating my demons" and gain more self growth this year, continuing on from last year.

Dreams for life: My ultimate dream, is to be sitting in a big cushioned chair, old and wrinkly, with picture frames, picture albums all around me, souvenirs, memories scattered around my home and just to have one moment with myself and think about how fortunate I was to live the life I lived and who I lived it with. To have no regrets, just rollercoasters and adventures, in this wonderful thing we call life. To know that no matter what, it always works out in the end. To have that final contentment, that is my dream.

Oh, and to see Aurora Borealis at least once in my life.

SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

As a child growing up, my drive was above and beyond the clouds. I was a high achiever, primarily in art and dance. I was a competitive dancer. My intention with this snippet of the post is not to boast about my life achievements, not at all, it's just to share something that I'm a bit proud of, personally. Something that I can look back and lean on when the present gets rough. Something that I can reminisce about.

When I see my medals from competing in dance, my eyes gander across the metal circles that are attached to my black waistcoat to keep them all safe and in one place, and I still immediately remember how I gained every single one. I know which medal was my first one to get and which ones were the toughest to get. The ones that I was against all odds in achieving. And that, to me, delivers a message, one that I sometimes desperately need. It gives me the self reassurance and confidence to get back on my feet and mercilessly bulldoze through whatever stands in my way. Whether I'm successful or I land right back onto my knees, the attempt is progress in itself.

And with that, I've learned that some things never truly leave you.

Answers

I am offically no longer caught up with my 30 day challenges of daily blogging! Oops. I've unintentionally put myself a few days behind. Valid reasons, I have. This past week, my health has been barbaric. Unexplained nausea and unusual abdominal pain, until now. I now come equipped with a digestive disorder, which I was diagnosed with two days ago. It's been undiagnosed but speculated for years and now it's official. Peppermint is now my best friend. And I've been placed onto a Fodmap diet thing to figure out exactly what foods my intestines have trouble digesting. So basically, I need new intestines. Anyone? No?..

OUT AND ABOUT

Ah, the little town where I spend most of my time outdoors. I do most of my shopping here and it's where I do volunteer work for a children's charity. The eerie, heavy blankets of cloud threatened snow. The weather stations, including Met Office have been forecasting snow for where I live. Have I seen a single flake of the stuff? No. It's definitely cold enough for it to snow though. Luckily, I completed all of my errands before, whatever we may get, arrives.

ANOTHER PICTURE OF YOU

Mid IBS flare up. No make up, sleep deprived, nausea when I eat, nausea when I don't eat, generous about of fatigue, I was hardly a candidate for a picture of happiness and health. But this was the last step to completing the Open When series of letters for my other half and I'll be damned if he can't accept me at my worse times, haha. He made that heart I'm holding. It's got a cog wheel inside of it so you can twist it and it will disfigure the shape of the heart. After a full turn, it'll shape itself back into a heart. It's a very cool thing. Very cool.

Rave

10 SONG SHUFFLE

1. Swerve City - Deftones
2. Starfuckers Inc - NIN
3. Black Milk - Massive Attack
4. Bleed - Meshuggah
5. Firestarter - Prodigy
6. Californication - RHCP
7. Man in the Box - Alice in Chains
8. Cthulhu Sleeps - deadmau5
9. Aerodynamic - Daft Punk
10. Nerve - Soilwork

YELLOW

Hmm, yellow. It's surprised me how much I lack the colour yellow in my life. Genuinely struggled for this picture challenge and I've never done a products rave before, so here it is. Laying next to my trusty Pikachu plushie are a range of products that nothing can beat to make my skin soft in terms of general use. With Lush's Buffy being sent down from the heavens for my skin, it's not something I go for on a daily basis but The Body Shop's mango range are a pretty damn close second on making my skin as smooth as baby skin. They've been my go to shower products for about a year now and I doubt it'll be changing this year either. My skin drinks this stuff. Mango is my bae.

Alternative

TIME

Discovery reigns my Wednesday. I woke up to discover that my current hair dye is playing some serious games with me. I discovered Spotify for the first time ever and when I found out I could make my own playlists, angels sang. With that, I rediscovered some ancient bands that are forever embedded into my heart from growing up. New bands are also entering my playlists. Still, after three hours, playlists are being born. I'm spiralling out of control, thanks to Spotify. I learned how to make origami hearts and realised that origami is insanely therapeutic. 

And for a little bit of added ultimate irony, I've discovered that Dutch tea beats British tea by miles. Since having tasted Pickwick's grace in a cup, half of my inferior British tea collection is now in the rubbish bin.

Mute Tuesday

LOW ANGLE

Now that I have somewhat of a schedule beginning to take shape, I'm now free to sit down, try to unwind which is proving to be a bit tough with all these floating ideas still waiting to be implemented into my life. But I'm going to try and I'll start by writing out this double daily challenge post! Since I didn't have time to do yesterday's challenges, but heck, I don't mind at all. These challenges are hella fun to do, and I might do one for next month as well. I don't secretly have one saved all ready for next month, gosh, what are you talking about?

HOW YOU FOUND BLOGGER & WHY YOU MADE ONE

I've been lurking Blogger for about two years now, trying to make sense of it all as it's very different to what I'm used to - tumblr. Now, tumblr is brilliant. I love that thing. But to me, it's more for instant attractions using instant mechanisms with instant reactions, rather than grabbing a cup of tea, sitting down and settling in to really read a good post documenting their life, thoughts, treasures and findings. I tend to enjoy more and I couldn't get that out of tumblr. It wasn't the right platform for me, if you will. I can't for the life of me remember how I originally found Blogger but when I did, it was heaven. It was exactly what I was looking for, though I couldn't figure the system out. However, I finally made it! And now Blogger and Bloglovin' take up a good 60% of my laptop time. I have no regrets about that either.

ART

My most favourite piece of artwork I've ever owned in my entire life. I bought this in February '12 at Comicon. I do have an unusual love for skulls but that's not the only thing that drew me to this canvas. Inside the canvas was a laminated note with a quote on it, saying what the canvas meant. It said something along the lines of "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot extinguish it". Deep appreciation for it grew from the get go and I purchased it. Since then, it's never left my life or my wall. The pink is about to be painted over with deep teal though, I'm not about that life.

Win some, lose some

DOOR

Found a new place for my cat sign, on my bedroom door next to these pretty neat flower canvas' that I've found no use or space for up until now. I swear they've been leaning up against a wall on the floor for the past two years. They're not really 'my thing' hence I was in no rush to hang then in my room, but now the hallway looks a lot more brighter. Plus, they're heavily disguising a bunch of small holes in the wall caused from a load of pins which held up a Christmas tree shaped tinsel decoration that I mashed together on that wall. Oh well, no one will know! Apart from whoever reads this, however...

A PICTURE OF ME AND MY FRIENDS

...Heh. This is where I hit a wall with this 30 day challenge, because all the pictures of me and my friends that I own are currently stored on a harddrive that I can't currently access. It's my old laptop's harddrive and the laptop that I have now is only a couple of months old and I haven't taken any pictures with my friends recently, evidently. That's sad. This is a mega sad story. 

Speaking of pictures, me and my family came across a picture of me and all three of my brothers together yesterday. T'was somewhat of a miracle discovery as it's the only one in existence that we have with all of us together. We also found out that it was taken roughly ten years ago and I came up with the idea of us all getting together real soon and taking a new one, only ten years later. That'll be freakin' cool.

Fibres

BEST BIT OF YOUR WEEKEND

The magic hasn't happened yet but this is all in plan for tomorrow morning. I am notorious on having good looking hair and google-eyeing other people's good looking hair. I love good hair, end of story. Natural, crazy coloured, long, short, curly, straight, I don't care. I love all kinds of good hair. But for me, I grew up with having some wacky, stylish haircuts and it was almost always dyed black with red bits in it. Or it was black overall. Only on one occasion did I try to have purple grape coloured hair and it was gorgeous. It suited my brown eyes and olive skin tone really well. Why I didn't go for it again, I'll never know. But I'm about to remedy that. I'm bringing plum back. OH YES.

SONGS YOU LISTEN TO WHEN YOU'RE:

HAPPY

SAD

BORED

HYPED

MAD

(Soilwork are a new band for me, they please my rock roots very much so)

Slumber

YOUR VIEW TODAY

My phone alarm apparently decided to let me sleep a couple of hours longer this morning, since I discovered it was somehow turned off. Because of that, I overslept and I feel like I've been in a hazy dream all day. My other half, the devil that he is, surprised me with his presence. He cancelled plans today because he felt like he hadn't spent any time with me lately. Then my heart turned into a mushy pile of mush. It didn't stop me from slightly telling him off, which took great effort considering my selfish needs, I'll admit it. But it's true, we're both ambitious, both on apprenticeships and we don't get a lot of time together at all. So for this once, for today, I allowed us to have what we wanted to have - each other... I'll go get the buckets and violins.

Right now, my view is pretty much my typical homebody view. The picture is horrendously blurry and I don't really understand why, but it won't be long before I manage to get an SLR and I can step up my game, big time. There's a huge cup of coffee, which I might add has THE best Dutch coffee I've ever had the pleasure to introduce my overly ecstatic taste buds to, a game which both me and him love to play - which is pretty much game that allows friendly fire for our team killing needs, my Moogle teddy which I bought a few years ago at a Comicon - which I may be attending again next month (eeeee!), a Yankee Candle in my most favourite scent of Pink Dragon Fruit! Yay! It would be lit right this very second if the jar didn't arrive in pieces. So I'm having to melt and re-pot it into an empty jar soon. It'll break my very heart if I had to resort to cutting it into chunks to melt on the burner instead. No can do, I'm saving this candle if it's the last thing I do!

SOMETHING YOU'RE PROUD OF IN THE PAST FEW DAYS

Two years ago, if what was happening in my life now happened back then, I'd be in crumbles. I wouldn't have known how to stay on my two feet, I would have given up on everything and I would have returned to my old habits. I'm deliberately not going into detail, I apologise. Fudge these past few days, the whole of last December proved to me just how in control of my life I am now. It taught me that even though things are getting real messy, everything will turn out okay in the end. The way I view life now, that's what I'm proud of.

Winter Walks

SOMEWHERE YOU'VE BEEN TO

This little trip almost didn't happen this morning. The words adventure and anxiety are never in sync with each other, never. They are the angel and the devil that sit upon my shoulders. Fortunately, I can proudly say that me and the angel are gradually becoming close buddies as of late. Thus, my somewhat planned stroll to a rather popular place close to home took place.

Now, Ironbridge has always been meh to me. I grew up near it and it was always there, whatever. Never understood it's popularity and never cared for it. That was until I moved to South Wales and when people found out that I came from Shropshire, they asked me if I had been to Ironbridge. I'd always answer with a rather confused "yeah, why?" and it wasn't until my then Geography teacher told me that it's the first bridge of it's kind to be built in the entire world, the birthplace of industrial revolution. No wonder I always saw people of different nationalities posing in front of the bridge for a picture, having picnics and reading stones with words carved into them. Just goes to show how much I paid attention to my surroundings as a child.

So with my grown up eyes and my sponge for knowledge (my brain), I gave this place another chance. The first thing I will comment on vent about actually, is that Google Earth lied to me. I use that program to map out routes and figure out directions and it shown me that I had to walk down a pretty long road to reach my destination. Cool, my brain didn't have to survive the shock it gets when it has to deal with complicated instructions. Pretty straight forward, it was. I told my mother which way I was going before I left. "Are you mad? You'll never walk back up that hill." I thought what? Huh? It doesn't look that steep at all. Until I got there myself. What Google Earth failed to show me was the sudden nosedive the road did. It never shown me that there was about four nosedives in total on the way to Ironbridge. It looked like a ten minute mute walk down a bit of road, not twenty minutes of trying to keep my balance as I stroll down this rollercoaster of a road. Cheers, Google.

To be honest, the gloomy winter weather today was perfect. With the mild fog lurking in the air, it made the bridge, the trees, the path, the sky look more eerie. I digged that. Considering the bitter cold, the little town wasn't empty by any means, I was actually lucky that no one got caught in the shot above. Cultural small cafes sprawled along the high street. Modernized, prouder restaurants dotted every far and few between. Towering hotels. Warm, welcoming gift shops. The settlement as a whole felt pleasant and I grew a little bit more to understand the ironclad history this place holds. It's not just any ol' silly bridge, as I thought 15 years ago. It's far beyond my understanding and pretty nifty that I'm only a walk away from here so I can come back here pretty much whenever I want to.

Did you honestly believe that I could ignore this sitting in a window display in one of Ironbridge's gift stores?

A SIGN

Saw this, immediately thought of my other half. We have a private humour between us that on the outside, we openly despise each other. It's all banter though, we just love to hate each other. We thrive on being mean to each other. That's how we, strangely enough, keep each other sane. I may buy this next time around, it's freakin' perfect. For him.